Maybe it’s the birthday blues (I’m turning 33 in less than a month, can you believe it?); maybe it’s the 2-day holiday, I really don’t know. I just want to impart learnings to women who need advice from a 30-something woman herself. Taking inspiration from this Reddit thread, here are noteworthy ones to pin especially if you are in your early 20s:
Low-maintenance friendships are not naturally made.
Spoiler alert: no matter how extroverted you think you are, there will come a time when your circle becomes smaller. Might not be true for all (I hope and wish!) but take it from me who’s part of almost every circle in their high school and college years. The truth is, no matter how much you and your friends try to keep in touch, life will get in the way.
So I dare say, that while you still have time in your 20s and your life isn’t made up of 80% responsibilities yet, carve time to see friends. Say yes to night drinks or early morning runs or late brunch… I really like this point made by Issa Villaverde from one of her tweets:
(I cannot embed this tweet, I don’t know why. So if you like to engage in the tweet, click the screenshot to be redirected to the tweet!)
Most people my age are riddled with isolation because they don’t have friends. And I cannot blame them because most of them have to work and hustle at a young age. So I think if you have established your footing well already, try to connect and spend more time with friends. Platonic relationships require the same effort as romantic relationships when it comes to making people feel seen and appreciated.
Sunscreen is cheap, hoard lots.
It’s not rocket science to comprehend that as we age, we lose our skin’s suppleness and elasticity. So if you are someone who values their looks, invest in sunscreens. The simplest skincare routine requires just 3 steps:
Cleanse
Moisturize
Sunscreen
To be honest, you don’t need much in your rotation. You don’t have to buy the expensive ones either. Sure, it will take you several tries to find the perfect brands to match your skin type, but I’m pretty sure that there is a drugstore find hidden there somewhere that could protect your skin as much, if not better than those expensive brands.
Once you get older and have more money to splurge for this, go off and spoil your skin with the more upscale options. But while you’re still building your staples, it’s okay to settle with the generic ones.
Have hobbies, they ground you.
It’s all empowering when you feel like you’re on top of your career but when the noise subsides and you feel like slowing down already, hobbies will ground you. Try to not make your work your only personality.
There is more to life than your work. Or your love life, actually.
Find something that's yours and yours only. It’s good if you have someone to share your hobbies with but it’s not necessary. Turning to my hobbies when I was troubled with anxiety saved my life. It grounded me and helped me slow down. It made me appreciate a number of things: the time that I have, my capability to create, and myself overall.
And pro-tip: you don’t need to be good at a hobby to enjoy it. Hobbies are just that: simply hobbies. You aren’t required or pressured to excel in it because the point of having one is to enjoy it.
Stay vertical. Move.
Moving scares the shit out of us because there’s a certain level of intensity glued to it. But it isn’t entirely true! Moving could be jogging. Heck, it could even be walking! Walking just 4000 steps a day could cut the risk of dying from chronic illness. And that is an easy-peasy goal to hit if you also do house chores. Doing house chores is just one type of NEAT or Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis that contributes to your daily movement. Imagine how much more you can burn if you intentionally move.
I’m not saying that you should move because you have to maintain a certain figure. Staying lean could just be a by-product of being physically healthy. I am advocating movement because I personally believe that people should not be robbed off of their own money to buy expensive maintenance medicines.
Sadly, some people my age are already under maintenance meds (ie, high blood, fatty liver, etc.) because of poor diet and lack of movement. Sure, you can have fun, down a bottle of beer or two but you could also squeeze in some time to move and balance these all out.
Keep a journal or a blog or whatever. Take pictures and videos. Document everything.
Our memories fail us most of the time. The things that we want to remember do not always have a space in our memory. Good thing we have the option to document them through our phone or the internet (just make sure that you practice responsible posting and following the proper social media etiquette), or if you are a little bit traditional and prefer it old school: notebooks are here to stay.
I do not religiously journal or blog but when I do, I see to it that the moments that I want to cherish are stored somewhere I could find them whenever I want a reminder of how life gets better.
It’s easy to get lost in the way when you don’t have a track that you follow. While blogs and journals only help to look back in the past, I still consider them as good instruments to remind me of how far I am already with life. Malayo na pero malayo pa.
I love this particular quote from Moira Rose of the show Schitt’s Creek:
Allow me to offer you some advice. Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now. You may currently think, “Oh, I’m too spooky,” or “Nobody wants to see these tiny boobies,” but believe me: one day you will look at those photos with much kinder eyes and say, ‘Dear God, I was a beautiful thing!'” —Moira Rose, Schitt’s Creek, Season 2, “Moira’s Nudes”
Memories also reveal to me how magical life is. There are things that I did not imagine having even in my wildest dreams that I already have now. Memories, for me, are trinkets of gratitude — reminders of how I should not take everything for granted, and how everything should be appreciated and be grateful for.
So there, I think I made good points with these. Aging is scary but it’s also fun especially if have equipped yourself with the right tools to cope with the long-haul game of life.